Love Murders

Firstly I would like to make some things clear. The poem below is a reply to the poem “Murder of Love” written by Vivek. It seems that I have an inherent obsessive compulsive disorder to write poems (which, truly said, is actually, rubbish prose) in reply. Please forgive my futile attempt as just what it is. I don’t mean any disrespect to Vivek or to the poem he wrote. And the funny thing is that, he seems to like this, don't know why.

Love Murders

The birds are returning to their nests –

So are the men to the concrete boxes.

The sky is holding back -

Not the rays of the sun,

But the darkness

Of the urging rising moon.

Both are the same.

Black and white.

End is near.

Its just reflection, ain’t it?

O feel! The mourning breeze blows.

They say its silent.

It just wants to be heard.

Once.

She clasps her hands onto mine,

It feels cold now.

The search is futile – nothing in her eyes can I see anymore.

Not even myself.

In the deep dark abyss of her hypnotic eyes

I drown

In the water of my own tears.

No.

None sees them.

Its all deceit I get in return.

Its open now.

No secret left unknown,

No stone left unturned.

I can feel f***ing nothing.

Yes.

Those twins are beautiful.

Like the black holes which people say exist.

They exist there,

In her eyes.

The ocean I once saw is dry now.

The salt is left.

It rubs my wounds.

Up and down.

Up and down.

Where is that She which was?

Not in those lustrous blade-edged eyes.

Not in the saccharine poisoned words.

No.

She is not even in the false peace of her innocent face.

Alas!

My hopes are too high.

She possessed my soul.

Consumed me in totality.

But then she left.

Threw me away like those roadside flowers when they get stale.

Ensured the end of my life.

Content I should be with what I got –

A grimace, an abuse.

A dollop of hate.

No one belongs to us.

Neither do we to someone.

Not food are we,

Neither are we ornaments.

We are just the mud that with the lotuses blend.

Through days and nights,

Through eternal sorrow,

Through death alone,

We wither.

In secret.

But put up dirty worn masks to hide the rotting within.

Countless times we run about in the Karmic Cycle.

Only to find ourselves at the same place - again.

With the knife of desires,

We are cut.

Piece by piece.

We thought we were all here to love.

Sufferance is all what we got in return.

It is long we have fallen in love.

Now let us

Rise.

Rise from the waters that intend to strangle us

And drench us in love.

Its all false.

There is no Fountain of Hope in the places you seek.

Pierce our souls with the prongs of sin.

And let us live.

Even it be through death.

If it doesn’t hurt, it isn’t love.

An Eccentric Night

I’m looking for tremors in that note you play.
Play that for me, will you?
The travel
From one note to the other…
What are you playing?
Slower, please.

You said you’d wear green.
Here you are
In garish blue.
What clothes! Haha.

I told you not to
Cut your hair!

Such speed!
Schubert wouldn’t like it that fast.
You must be moonstruck!

What are these! Haha.
Brown goggles!
You’re wearing a lipstick!
Extra wisps on your hair.
Ear rings!
Bah. You must be moonstruck. Haha.

And how come you aren’t saying anything!

Must this gentleman with crown grays and premature balding,
Announce over this inestimably happy occasion,
The magnum opus of his beautiful bride,
That he wishes to dine with her
After her concert finds its closure
Soon, so his eternal love
May conjure up a modest
Picture of eternity?
What now? Haha.

You are stuck to the window.
Moonstruck.
Stop biting those bars, will you?
Here, come over.
Let’s eat.

Cheers to our obscure humor.Haha.
There is much to love.
We’ll go over to the balcony
After we’ve had our food.
It’s raining.
We love the rains.

*Readers, kindly drop off comments on this. I've tried something new. Even good/bad/other single word-comments will do. Thanks!*

the slave

You came in,
Came into my life
You came in
And made me fall

You changed my world
You gave me love
You made me believe
Made me lose myself

The world was bright
With pink days
And velvet nights
Life was too good to be real

I was too lost
Too lost to think
I wanted to believe
I was blind

The days passed
You made me doubt
You showed me your truth
And left me cold
Cold as ice

The reasons you gave me were right
But I couldn't believe you
I couldn't see the truth
I couldn't trust you

I was torn
picking up the pieces
I was drowning
In fumes and smoke

Nights were my shelter
Days were hell
The rain hid my tears
the shadows my wails

I survived
On smoke
Nectar

Now you are back
And I once again am your slave

I am falling again
You take away my nectar
Take away the smoke
Reveal me again
Lift the shadows

Who are you
You who make me lose to myself
You who bring me close
And then leave me to the cold again
And again

But I still do
Still love you
The slave that I am

A 3d Model of my home ..created in Google SketchUp !

I'm Back!

Well it's nice to be back after such along time!i had been busy all these days preparing for my PartI exams.Its still continuing ,would continue for a long time and i may not get another time to log in.So once I got a gap in between my exams I ran down to the nearby cafe,without paying any heed to my mom's warnings!I mean C'mon Yaar I had been without computer for nearly 2months!and right now my hands were really itching but now its fine,after I got the balm i.e of touching the keypads atleast!!!!!

Anyways lots of nonsense been said!But these the Pge 1 of the newspapers had been full with news on terrorist or capitalist attacks!I don't want to comment on anything else,coz our Government doesn't allow us to speak or rebel about any issues.....just want to say 1thing...all these people who are killing innocent people along with children maybe whatever ,but they cannot be human atall!No cause can be justified in the brutal cold blooded murder of innocent people!Religion doesn't ask one to kill one another,it asks one to spread the essence of brotherhood.But many people are getting provoked by some Stupid Know-alls who claim that they know everything about religion!The tragedy is that they never fight themselves,but poeple working for them die for some wrong cause...they just sit and watch the "Tamasha"!

I really do hope that Oneday all these inhuman people will get their punishments...oneday there will prevail peace everywhere...no fight for the sake of power.....money.As it's said that "with Power comes Responsibility"i do hope that these countries who claim themselves to be all powerful and the "guardian" of goodwill do understand that and act accordingly!As it's said,"There's no bad peace or good war"!
"Om Shanti,Shanti,Shanti"

Murder of Love

The birds are returning to their nests --

The sky is still holding back

Desparately to the last rays

Of the reluctant, setting sun.

The woods has been gripped

By the misty darkness of the creeping dusk.

A sudden shiver makes the presence felt

Of a breeze which blows silently,

Worn by the blues of the parting day.

Her hands clasped into mine,

Intently I am drinking of her eyes,

Searching for her,

Wondering where she is –

Where I shall find

The source of eternal happiness

That is hidden in her.

Like the infinite secrets of the universe

Trembling in the distant stars of the clear sky,

I can feel the existence

Of the secret of her soul

That is behind the dark depths

Of her illusory beautiful eyes.

Gazing into them,

My self is immersed, lost

Into the fathomless ocean of her being…

Where is She?

Within her lustrous eyes?

Behind her dazzling yet shy smiles?

Or in the sweet stream of her words…

Or maybe beneath the benign peace

That pervades her innocent face.

Alas, my hopes too high!

How rash the desire

To possess her soul,

To consume her totality

In the cramped corners

Of my crowded, clouded brain…

‘Tis like picking up

A beautiful flower on the roadside,

And ensuring the end of its life.

Content I should be with what I get :

A smile, a word –

A glance, a hint of love.

No one belongs to us.

Human beings are not for food

For humane hunger, earthly desires !

They are not ornaments to wear,

To show off !

They are lotuses that bloom

For the world and its Lord—

Assiduously and secretly.

Through days and night,

Through joy and sorrow

Prosperity and Adversity

Through Life and Death

And countless cycles of seasons

They Bloom…

To be enjoyed for their scent,

And beauty and sweetness,

Or even its mere existence !

But they are not to be cut

With the knife of desires,

And expectations.

We are all here to love,

And be strong in love,

But not possess our beloved,

Not to engulf her.

Let us appreciate her presence

Enjoy every bit of it,

Without making her suffer her

For the cause of our pleasure.

‘Tis long we’ve fallen in love.

Now let us

Rise.

Let the sacred rays of love

Drench us

Not in the mire of desires,

But in the fountain of hope, of humility,

Of Life.

-----------------

Acknowledgement : Rabindranath Tagore.

(this post maybe deleted in future for re-editting and other modifications)

Too De-tailed

Too detailed a picture (quality and dimension reduced). Maybe greyscale/sepia would have been better to subdue the unneeded details. But as I don't like doing digital edits, i scrapped the idea. I shud have used a red (hot) chroma filter and put the camera to "Sepia" mode!

Person in pic "Archan RoyChowdhury" (6'3" 104kgs) -- nice person!

http://www.shamasis.net/blog/

The Blue of Love : by akaash

It was raining.
The drops were continuously drumming down on the tin roof.
There were others in that small, compacted room, that was full of wooden furniture. And everybody was quiet.

It was a roadside shop, near the bus stand, that sold and made cupboards, tables, chairs and likewise wooden accessories. It rained and everybody had rushed in to get a shelter .
I had gone in as well, but why I failed to remember.
Maybe to get a shelter, ... yes, but more because others were going in, and I merely followed them, … to avoid any unwanted public attention.

I tried to be one of them, …

The air in the room was filled with a strong scent of freshly wetted wood and men worked inside, … as they chiseled and hammered quietly … and tried to fit parts into one another.
I stood at the doorstep along with the others, and watched the growing rain, … that started as a few lazy drops and went on to be a downpour.

I was wet. I somehow forgot to open the umbrella I carried.

I watched the buses through the misty drops, as they took passengers from each stop and dropped them at others. That was what they were supposed to do. To take some and to leave some and to continue.

The picture was hazy. … as I tried to remember the Cause.

I had loved her. She had loved me. … And then something happened … that I don’t exactly remember, and neither do I want to. Even, I had forgotten whether I understood what had happened. What got to me was that we could no longer remain together.
As I remember, my first reaction was disbelief.
But then I saw her crying.
As I saw those tears rolling continually down her pale cheeks, … the cheeks whose Colour, I had once promised to myself, to protect, … I felt helpless. I felt I was not a man.

I felt it was Unfair, that Destiny decided to attack from the rear, never giving me a fair chance to get armed for this battle.

I felt like going to her, and taking her in my arms, … making her head rest on my chest, making her tears wet my body, soul, … making her forget every damn fear in this world, … kissing her tender lips, … saying that it was all a farce.

But I had failed to move.
I trembled inside with an unexplainable fear, … as waters flushed out from my eyes. I tried to take a step towards her wanting to show that I had Not turned weak, and she could depend on me, … that we would be finding some way out, …that we would never part.

But the way she had accepted the ‘truth’, … it seemed, … that this would only be a false consolation, … and it was as if she knew this .
… And she taught me this, that you don’t look to fight fate, as it was impossible.

I never listened to this, I didn’t believe that fate couldn’t be changed.
I still had enough willpower, but I knew, … the Only thing that I would ever fail to fight was her Tears, that glistened with truth.

We sat in silence.
For an hour, … maybe. … I don’t exactly remember.

And then she got up.
… and came to me.

Her tears had dried up, though their creases could still be made out on her cheeks.

She looked at me and smiled.
I trembled inside, I wept inside, but something in her smile made me stand up with a belief that a miracle must have happened.

I looked at her with a blank, helpless stare. I could not speak.

She held my face in her two little hands and looked into my eyes.
I once again felt the warmth of her body.

… and then, … we forgot everything, … and Kissed .

We knew that it was the Last One we would ever have.
But it seemed like the Ultimate One.

… it seemed to be the answer to all my questions.
… and it seemed to be the Answer to All the Questions in this world.
We drank and ended each others’ infinite pain.
We reassured each other that Nothing had actually happened, …that No Universal Laws could separate us; … irrespective of what this world thought, … irrespective of what Laws Of Humanity or Conventions said, … irrespective of whether we would meet again, …
… we would remain each others’ forever.

… and then, with closed eyes, and with the essence of the other in our souls, we separated.




Tears were still rolling down from my eyes.
But the rain had stopped.
And the Sun shone brightly.

It was a new beginning.
… not for Me, but for the person inside me, … as I remembered happily that I had successfully ‘left’ Myself to her, … and that I would be Safe in her Heart,
.. forever.

I now smiled the same smile that she had once baffled me with.


and I stepped out of the furniture shop and decided to walk …

On Love

This is a post by Akaash in reply of The Nameless One's post "The Paradox that is Love".

Due to some blogger account difficulties, on his request I publish this post in a form of ebook. I hope you do download and read it. He will be most eagerly waiting for your comments.

Thank you.

Read the ebook.

Makes you think... Isn't it?

www.shamasis.net

The Eye

Sighs swarm in;
Some muffled, some expressed.
So do unheard silences.
The eye came…
Bathed in blood and fluids.
Two whacks on its butt.
Swathed in ignorance,
A legacy of some unknown beauty.

Oh how he is instructed!
A pencil sketch
Of a battle scene.
Blood white, sweat triangular,
Almost invisible
To the infant eye.
As if war was the only living entity.
Life was a background.
Like some black blob
On a clean paper.
Throwing the paper
Into an abyss of unimportance.

Oh how it is instructed!
A bottomless well
Ornate with algal habitation
And framed pencil sketches.
Green silhouetted over red bricks…
So ostentatiously new
As if it was made
After the eye was born!
And yet, the ambience
Old…
As if the well espoused the eye
In his previous birth.

And the instructions echo…
The eye must learn
To see, retain
And do nothing more.

Other things would pose
A risk.
Of vulnerability,
Of adrenaline,
Of probable randomness,
Of its probable incompetence,
Of other eyes,
Of a random life.
But how could the eye know?
Would a cardinal rule not be broken?

One day, cynicism will die.
It will.
There, throw your passionate glance
On the sky.
You don’t need a listener.
The sky is sufficiently beautiful.

…

When he grew older,
I don’t quite remember when,
He looked at himself
In a pool of water.
Hazel branches leaping into
Perfectly spherical expanses.
Red rivers and grey silt
Strewn around.
Black adornments.
Skin, face, body.
An invisible, beautiful mind
Basking in the glory
Of such alarmingly precious endowments,
As if it had a premonition,
And knew, perfectly, how to react.

…

If u can, and will,
Speak of all that transpired.
Speak of life all this while.
Speak of progress.
He’s grown ears.
Maybe they’ll heed.

The Bridge

I liked this song :

Dil Se Mere, Door Na Jaana
Dil Se Mere, Door Na Jaana
Tum Meri Zindagi
Tum Meri Ho Khushi
Dil Se Mere, Door Na Jaana...
Kyoon Hain, Ye Dooriyan
Jaane Tum Ho Kahan
Kyoon Hain, Ye Dooriyan
Jaane Tum Ho Kahan

Main To Hoon Wahan
Tum Raho Jahan
Tere Sang Main Rahoongi Sadaa
Tere Sang Main Rahoongi Sadaa

Meri Nazar Se Na Palkein Jhukana
Meri Nazar Se Na Palkein Jhukana
Tum Meri Zindagi
Tum Meri Ho Khushi...
Teri Bas Ek Nazar
Kar De Dil Pe Asar
Teri Bas Ek Nazar
Kar De Dil Pe Asar

Main To Hoon Idhar
Kyoon Ho Bekhabar
Tham Lo Tum Mujhe Humsafar
Tham Lo Tum Mujhe Humsafar

Dil Se Mere, Door Na Jaana
Dil Se Mere, Door Na Jaana
Tum Meri Zindagi
Tum Meri Ho Khushi..

An Observation

the day i spotted her was a late fall afternoon,under the bright orange of the setting sun....its long slant beams filtered through the long sprawling branches of the banyan tree under which stood the shiv mandir decorated heavily with flowers that day..........her tattered clothes and dishevelled appearance looked so mismatched against the backdrop of our posh locality.....i wonder whether i would have noticed her on any other ordinary day.....but today was altogether different, there was a huge commotion surrounding her, while some welldressed ladies from some ritzy appartment screamed and shouted at the top of their voices looking like they are about to burst.....it took me sometime to analyse their gibberish speech and i could make out the problem....it was a shivaratri celebration and the ladies had offered packets of sweets for prasad...and apparently the packets have gone missing.......And now i noticed the frail little creature.....younger than me but hard to assess her age from her undernourished appearance.....her eyes quite bright stood out amongst her features...and yet she looked scared.....clutching her dress against her chest.....trying to escape with her dear life.....

i wondered whether she had actually stolen the sweets.....i also wondered whether she knew that the constitution had provided that kids her age ....my age are entitled to foursquare meals a day.......would it be right to blame her even if she had actually stolen a sweet or two out of sheer hunger..........i still wonder..........

MYSTERIOUS NUMBER

A Truly Remarkable Number

step 1>Enter 999999 in your calculator

step 2>divide it by seven.

The result will be a mysterious number!

step 3> randomly pick a number from 1 to 6 and multiply the result by the mysterious number.

step 4>Arrange the digitsof the product from lowest to highest from left to right to forma six-digit number.

What is the number?

Music

I
Reverie

Your maddening fragrance…
It is night now,
Warm and windy.
I’m half naked
And exhausted
From all the heat
In the mine.

But I have with me platinum.

It reminds me of you,
(It’s yours, of course.)

Oh, I am coming.

But let me remember you-
Haha. Alright, let me imagine?

You are the ambience
In my beach, deserted.
You are its pulse,
Its constant throb.
In the white powder of light
From the light house,
You lurk, flaunting your
Quasi flawless body
To the rustling of the mangroves
So short and stout, I laugh.
Jobless bitch.
(I’m laughing of course, my love)
And now are you in
The fisherman’s boat,
Rolling lazily about,
Against the rough wood
Your watery being.

I saunter now,
Here and there, round and round.
A dog barks at me at
This hour in the night.
I hum a tune
In madhuvanthi.
I try wearing
Fewer wisps on my hair,
So you’ll make some.

II
Walk

I cross the road.
I’m half-naked, sweaty
And scared. (Stop laughing)
I walk fast.

People sleep here too,
Between me and you, our havens.
On the road.
Their children naked, malnourished,
Sleeping blissfully,
The womenfolk badly clothed,
Inside makeshift tents,
The men, fast asleep,
With palms closed on their chests.

I’m scared.

I hear you…

You’re so permanent.
The same.
You, my love, are
My purpose- constancy.

I walk across the bushes.
I sweat profusely.

I’m scared of snakes.

But I can hear you…
Psychedelic rhythm…

III
Tryst

I’m here, the sands are cold…
Ah…
The wind now…
I rub my spectacles clean.

I look back.

Reddish sky, (it’s about to rain, eh?)
Black silhouettes of coconut trees,
The bushes behind.
The lighthouse.
The boats.
Nothing else.
Eh? Haha.
Everything behind me.

I’m here.
With my reverie
And a gift.
In your haven.

I breathe air so moist,
I’m mad, with my reverie,
And I can see you
Complying gracefully.
I can hear your pulse.
I stay here, still.
I need to hear you
For some more time.
I can see you.

The moon is yellow tonight,
The sky, a milky purple,
With thick, grey clouds.
I kick my slippers off…

IV
Love

Hear me breathe?
Feel my sweat?
Why must you be here?
Why must I be there, parched
All day, in the mine?

Perhaps, (I smile) dearest,
Our lore is what we run our lives on,
A fuel we love,
The only thing we love
More than ourselves.

The process, darling.
Of dreaming, being,
Feeling, thinking,
Drawing, Singing,
Reminiscing, Hankering.

Perhaps this circle
Sublimes into the link
That we seek.
You seamlessly surge and ebb,
On this shore…
And I,Toil in the mine.
We procreate platinum, love,
For ourselves.
We must, for we are.

Here, the gift.

What is it to make love to you?
I can never remember.
You brackish being
Permeate through my skin…
My hair frenzied…

We talk. For hours, endlessly.

V
Sleep

I’m exhausted.
I walk back.
A day’s pain
Enmeshed in pleasure.
I sleep a dreamless sleep.

Confused? No.

I didn't have wings,
I ne'er could fly,
My life was mine then :
Not a lie.

I was never a free bird,
Already caged -
In your love,
And charm I raged.

My life was divided...
I couldn't breathe.
I didn't have it all,
Even the tear of my greed.

I want to burn you now...
With the loving burning touch,
That you gave me once
And took away again.

My heart is like a glass...
Yes.
Prone to break.
And with its shards I shall tear,
My nerve and your face.

Not the one you carry about -
But the one you left in my mind.
I will die.
Yes.
But that won't be enough.

It is also true.
My heart is not like glass.
That it would shatter,
And give you pin-pricks,
Since all I have is actually with you
Even the blood that the wounds lick.

I thought I found my dream in you...
But you proved me wrong.
Left me in the mud and blackness,
With just a song.

A song that I couldn't utter
That played like a loop...
Drived me so crazy,
That I died even without dying.

I fell in love with you once.
Atleast thats what I thought,
You left me though.
And bred in me hatred and other putrid stuff.

Yeah.
I know what you all will say.
I am a mad crazy guy.
Don't know what love is.
That real love stays always unfulfilled.
Thats what I want you to believe.

My heart is aching within...
No.
I didn't commit any sin.
Just gave you a piece of mine once,
Which you took away
And never returned.
Pierced it with voodoo thorns.
Just for having loved you.

What am I to do?
I know.
What you sow, so shall you reap.

It isn't a reply to any poem
As you might have wrongly guessed.
Its just my POV.
Yes.
Love looks quite sick from this side.

I know this is a stupid poem
And it seldom does rhyme
But this all I wanted to say.
This is what I liked.

Ain't confused anymore.
No more blind.

Reality isn't sweet.
I hate love.

Confusion of a confusing mind!!!

I burned my wings
Like a Phoenix in the flame...
Unable to live
It's very life force no more brings...

If yet I have not all thy love
I shall never have it all...
I can't breathe one other to sigh
Nor can intreat one other tear to fall...

I wanna burn myself
By your loving burning touch
I do want you to know...
I'll alwayz love you...

Heart is like a glass
Prone to break...
If I should break it now
I'd still die...
Images of you in my head!!!

I found the man of my dream in you...
You are one I've searched all my life
And everyday more and more
I'm falling deeply in love with you...

My heart is aching within
Did I commit any sin?
I did no wrong
Other than simply loving you...
No notion how to handle this...
What am I to do?

A Reply

Well today as I opened the account I found some comments written for my last topic "About Reservation".I want to make one thing clear to my friends that I'm against any kind of castism...nor I have any kind of enemity with the so called lower castes!If I have any problem that is regarding the way governments are run in our country(the so called "largest democracy").as I wrote in the previous post that in a democracy the government is "by the people,of the peoplle and for the people".So it's the duty of the Govt to value our thoughts and feelings.

A recent incident happened which made me disturbed again.......the recent controversies of banning films!!It would be an understatement to say the all the movie-bluffs were eagerly waiting for the release of the films-"Fanaa" and "Da Vinci Code".But suddenly our so called secular UPA Govt started raising issues about the release of "Da Vinci Code" because some christian minority groups had started protests against it.My question is that the book had been released about 2years ago...then there was no protests by those groups...when the movie was about to be released all of a sudden they started their outcry.It makes me wonder was it really for Jesus or for their own publicity?

Though "Fanaa" had no religious contents in it......still it managed a banning because the lead actor chose to spoke about rehabilitation which became a political issue.Naye it was a conscious effort to accuse the people of Gujarat!!!!!That was what it was made to be!!!So this film was banned under the support of the BJP Govt in Gujarat.......I mean how dare one speak about a political issue!!!!Its only the corrupt politicians who can dare to tread in the arena of politics....the rest of us are mere fools!!!!!!

As if we common people don't live nor own this country.......we make a Nation.....but we can't speak no evil against the political parties!Political parties through out the world look down upon "Talibanism".......but this is nothing less than that!!!!!This is the same as Fascism,Talibanism,where people lose their rights!!!!!

I'm no learned on all these topics but yes they make me troubled!As a young voter of the Nation it makes me wonder about the real state of our nation.I mean we are the future of the Nation ...if we don't pay any heed to all these things happening throughout the country ........then its better we stop calling ourselves an Indian.

With the hopes of seeing our Nation as the"Sare Jahan se accha"......................................................

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