TO LOVE : the journey of the human psyche from the Orange of Dreams to the Brown of Soil

( a few things to say : I do not intend to attack anybody living or dead. It's just this that by "you" or "we" in this post, I mean everybody of us; ..and, yes, including myself. I am human. I remain flawed thus. And again. This is my personal view. And neither do I expect to thrust my view on my readers. And still I wonder why I receive so many comments, when I do nothing other than to talk rubbish. I am sorry! You just may have to bear me for another 3 posts. Forgive me. And 'Thank You' for the reason that you haven't kicked me out of this blog as yet...)


Section 3. ...do we 'Understand'?
...do we know to play 'the Other'?

...ON OURSELVES.

It's this cucoon of self-absorbment, that we talked about in my last section, which we had never believed to exist in the first place.

We dream. Maybe, ..a better way to put it, ..we expect. Of course! What's life without expectations? What's life without hope?

But again.. expectations should be realistic.

Now what does being real or practical mean? Does it mean to tie yourself down to a few social, moral values? Does this mean that your desires should all be smashed to pieces just because this stupid world doesn't validate them?

(Poets do exactly that. They don't wait for the validation. They just express. And in most of the cases the world comes round ...after a hundred years... to these uttered words! But again, we are discussing on us, ..the common people, ..not on poets. Remember? ..We are discussing the love of soil, ..not the love of dreams.)

We might take a bit of help from psychology. The topic on which we would be discussing in this section is termed : 'projecting your self on another person' in psychology. It's called : "taking the role of The Other". What the hell is this all about?

It's nothing but a scientific/ statistical interpretation of the underlying word in all relationships. CONNECTION.

When you suddenly realise that the desires you hold, deep inside your heart, just don't take into account the other human beings on this planet, ... you know, that you are being one-sided!
You can't take yourself to be a broad minded person.

You CAN say : "I have the liberty to live my life.."

But again, this means that you are a very poor connector.
You don't connect with people. It's as if the others' lives, ..their problems, their constraints mean so very less to you.

i.e. you don't ... or is it 'can't'?... judge a situation, nor do you validate a desire -- placing yourself to somebody else' position. i.e. in psychological language, you just don't know to take The Other's role...

And it's then when the game of your life becomes dangerous. You play with pain. You play with fire. You have so many desires to fulfill. But then again, the world doesn't run by the wish of your wand. You stay locked up. In your cucoon. Dreaming...

And when you start stepping out, you start feeling for others.

You start to see others' emotions, others' feelings, others' constraints -- as if they were all yours.. Yours very own. And it's then when you start to understand the 'why's...

You start to know the reasons...

Your eyes open to the ever-complicated mathematics by which this world runs. ( ..because this world is supposed to contain everybody; ..not only you.)

And it is then when you suddenly realise what a baby you had once been... wrapped up in the blankets of your very own sky, ..having their very own stars. And you ask why were your dreams invalidated by reality? ..by this world? Have you thought about this world? Why would it think about you?

It's then when you start to undergo a transformation. Your desires are moulded in the new plane. And, ..maybe, ..they are rendered more right; ...more realistic.

Tell me, had you ever tried to find out why your lover left you? ..or, why he or she fights with you all the times? Did you search for his/her problems -- thinking them to be your very own?

Nobody is bad at heart.

He/she must have had some worries.. May be some unsolvable constraints.. Maybe, he/she decided not to tell you that thinking that you would never understand... Just think what a brilliant image you have in the eyes of your lover then. Whose fault is it anyway? Entirely his/hers?

No. Most of you blamed them. More of you cursed them. And maybe, lesser of you just felt dejected and drained and walked out with a heavy heart. Why? Just because your very own desires remain unfulfilled? ..See? What had I meant by 'the cucoon of self-absorbment'?

..And what do you think, your behaviour and attitude led your lover to think?

And what more do you want when you know, that your lover commited the very same mistake. ..If you only could allow me to call this a 'mistake'?

It's the game of Images, honey, that we, humans, play all our lives.

We make images. We break images.
Images grow. Images change.

But again, Real Truth always manages to stay hidden untill and unless you have the guts and strength to view something from all possible angles. ..If only you knew to take The Other's role. Then, some views wouldn't have locked themselves from your eyes for ever.

A rear camera in a soccer ground picks up a hand-ball, which was totally 'invisible' to the ninety-nine other cameras spread across the ground!


It's said that on one's point of view the world gets interpreted. To see Beauty, one needs to have a pair of beauty-seeking eyes.

And to make your desires come true, you should be able to mould your self.
"It's not the spoon, Neo", "If you look closely, you'll find that it's your mind that bends!"


All Relationships in this world run on one word. "UNDERSTANDING".
--On how well one partner 'understands' the other.
--On how well one partner moulds/ adapts himself/ herself to the needs of The Other.
..and for a relationship to stay, this must be from both the sides.

I had told you once before that nobody is bad at heart.
We are all here to love.
We just need to know how...

Most of the times, we love. But the energy gets misdirected. We end up having a fight.

And this happens because we just don't 'Understand'.

And how do we understand?

By learning to step out of our self-absorption. By learning how to play 'The Other' in a relationship.
By lending a hand of support. By lending a hand of Love.

Listen. And see. Make your mind bend, rather than trying desparately to bend this whole world.

Come out of your false cucoon. And spread Love.

It's easy...

(to be continued)