Saturday, July 29, 2006

Love – ‘Green’ed : by Akaash

Our boat gradually floated through the narrow strip of blue water, that had lush green sloping banks on its either sides.

The tree-leaves above were moist with the drizzle that had just stopped and, forming a canopy over our heads, they made drops of water grow at their tips time and again which, coming through the moist and cold air thenafter, fell on the water body with a few ‘plop’s.

Our boat had almost stopped, and the small fishes peeped their heads out of the stream water, getting curious to see who had come in the long uninhabited land of theirs!

We left the boat and stalked to a tree side that had green bushes all around it, ..having lustrous leaves, yellow flowers and white butterflies.

We sat down on the wet grass and as we did, the trees above our heads dropped a few scarlet petals on our laps...

It was a peaceful afternoon and the clouds covered the sun, generating a quiet mood of understanding among all the nature elements, which sang different chords of silence in a harmony.

I plucked two grass blades from earth’s bosom and, knitting them together in a butterfly form, presented the pair to her. Her eyes desperately tried to hide the vulnerable thrill that they had in them, and turned to the distant greens.

A squirrel appeared and looked at us with curious eyes, and perhaps after realizing that we were no more than two living things, who called themselves ‘natural’, decided to bring us two nuts.

Next the rabbits came. And they grew very happy to receive those nuts from her.

A small bird suddenly stopped its flight to sit down on one of the bushes, and sang us a song then.

“They are repeating themselves!”, I exclaimed.

“Yes”, she said, “perhaps only to ask us to look at them in a different way.”

I remembered the last time we came here.

We had had a fight and though it was a small one, it took its toll on us.

We never managed to be good to each other.

The boat had jammed itself in the pond weeds and irritating water drops continually fell on our heads. We picked a spot and sat down. A few annoying moths skipped and hopped through the heavy air, disturbing the peace of the atmosphere very much. The sun was out. The grass was damp. And everything was bleak.

A squirrel had rushed over my legs and had left a few nuts on its way, at which a few rabbits looked at, with blank eyes, as they silently and carefully peeped from the greenish bushes.

…They never came to us as we were too busy thinking how to please each other. They were afraid of our Unnaturality.

The bird too flew away stopping its song midway, as if suddenly realising that it would be futile to sing to two people, who failed to understand each other, a pure song of nature that was otherwise so intangible!

…and finally, when we had got up that day, we found the scarlet petals lying withered on the ground, crushed under our own weight!

We were looking at the same direction now.

And I broke the law first and looked at her.

Her face had a strange peace bestowed upon it, and her dreamy eyes were looking at the distant greens with complete concentration.

The wisps of her hair were moistened by the still, wet air and her posture was lazy.

She turned towards me and smiled.

I smiled and dropped my eyes and said nothing.

And then she whispered to me three words.

“Green has shades!”

I cheerfully nodded.

Indeed, … green Had shades.

Every colour had shades.

Light and deep; bright and dark. And the world around us had the same shades too.

We only had to pick the right ones.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Male Friend

To you.
You who are a stranger.
You who I must accept.
You who I must forgive.

We were fellow ponderers.
Wondering why the night's
Gorgeous, black hair,
Its virility, its feminity,
Never showed signs of decripitude.
An infinite sex appeal she has.
Eternal.
The two of us try
To apostrophise the night.
To confer on it our names.
To spend a night with the sea
Fondle her breasts
Make love to her
And come out alive.
(Not at the same time,
I'm afraid I don't know too many moves!
My sexual-gaucheness is not out for display!)

We were beginning to have our hair
Done badly. The comb hurts.
We have lost wieght; and yet we are fat.
But we've 20 fingers and 20 toes.
Two minds.

Why don't we talk to each other often?
I don't know.
May be it is to attach
A savage innocence
A fortunate intensity
A primordial depth
To our rarities.

Oh how expensive are things?
We'll buy them won't we?

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Love spoke again
The dewdy romantic nights are alive again
Blast from the past
Where to you take me ?

The shivering night
A sense of Deja Vu down the line
Drops of rain twinkled down the sky
The sparkle in your eyes

Finding nothing amidst everything
Magic with words ?
Or shear nonsense ..
La la ...la laa laa..

Singing the new tune ..
The song you taught me dear
Give a piece of cloth
I need to wipe your face

A kiss on your forehead
There is a loop in my head
A infinte one which leads only to you

Come on dear
Cant I see it again in your eyes ?
A life to kiss
A life to be close

I stepped on a thorn
Did it bleed ?
Not enough blood to shear the soil
It was already stained in curses

The connection went off
Hanged tradegy seemed meaningless
In a meaning to nothing
I made this all up.

For My Angel



Its been days
days i have lost count of
when it was all over
when we ended it all

But here I am
Waiting
Waiting since forever
to hear your voice

Only one word
Just a 'hello'
Or the sound of your laughter
Just once

I pretended that I didnt care
when you called
Wanted you to beleive
that I didnt give a damn

But here i am
Waiting

The truth is
I love you
Love you since forever
Longing to see you
Counting against time
when I'm thinking of you

Never really wanted to hurt you
Just wanted to be a bit macho
Didnt know you were so much a part of me
Never imagined I would miss you so

And here i am
Waiting

The loneliness kills me
The world is cold and desolate
I feel alone
in the company of a million

Love you baby
From the bottom of my heart
Hoping you would return the love
Someday

I want you angel
Want you in my life
want to hear your voice
to see you smile

I will wait for you angel
will wait for you
even after the soul
leaves this forlorn body of mine...

----


PS: Ok, i know its a cliched feeling to write about, but still, comments please!

What a Crazy Grapic Designer Can do...

The first pic is the ACTUAL one........the rest are the result of his hardwork!!













Sunday, July 23, 2006

FOREVER IT WONT LAST....

Forever it wont last....
Have u ever realized,
that u missed so much in life.
Do u live just to live,
just to be called alive..??

Have u ever forgotton
and let a great friendship die,
just coz u dint had time
and u forgot to say hi..

Do u realize,
u are heading so fast.
This one life u have
forever wont last..
Ever felt the drops,
the rain slapping the ground
Ever bothered to touch
and gather the moments around..??

Ever noticed the feel
on that innocent face,
all they want is a part of ur time
but u are hurried to win the race.

You often dance on the muzic,
the one playing somewhere behind,
Have u ever heard the voice,
calling u from ur inner side.

Slow down a bit,
and shower ur love to all.
Dont run so fast,
This one life u have
forever wont last....

Love Murders

Firstly I would like to make some things clear. The poem below is a reply to the poem “Murder of Love” written by Vivek. It seems that I have an inherent obsessive compulsive disorder to write poems (which, truly said, is actually, rubbish prose) in reply. Please forgive my futile attempt as just what it is. I don’t mean any disrespect to Vivek or to the poem he wrote. And the funny thing is that, he seems to like this, don't know why.

Love Murders
The birds are returning to their nests –
So are the men to the concrete boxes.
The sky is holding back -
Not the rays of the sun,
But the darkness
Of the urging rising moon.
Both are the same.
Black and white.
End is near.
Its just reflection, ain’t it?
O feel! The mourning breeze blows.
They say its silent.
It just wants to be heard.
Once.
She clasps her hands onto mine,
It feels cold now.
The search is futile – nothing in her eyes can I see anymore.
Not even myself.
In the deep dark abyss of her hypnotic eyes
I drown
In the water of my own tears.
No.
None sees them.
Its all deceit I get in return.
Its open now.
No secret left unknown,
No stone left unturned.
I can feel f***ing nothing.
Yes.
Those twins are beautiful.
Like the black holes which people say exist.
They exist there,
In her eyes.
The ocean I once saw is dry now.
The salt is left.
It rubs my wounds.
Up and down.
Up and down.
Where is that She which was?
Not in those lustrous blade-edged eyes.
Not in the saccharine poisoned words.
No.
She is not even in the false peace of her innocent face.
Alas!
My hopes are too high.
She possessed my soul.
Consumed me in totality.
But then she left.
Threw me away like those roadside flowers when they get stale.
Ensured the end of my life.
Content I should be with what I got –
A grimace, an abuse.
A dollop of hate.
No one belongs to us.
Neither do we to someone.
Not food are we,
Neither are we ornaments.
We are just the mud that with the lotuses blend.
Through days and nights,
Through eternal sorrow,
Through death alone,
We wither.
In secret.
But put up dirty worn masks to hide the rotting within.
Countless times we run about in the Karmic Cycle.
Only to find ourselves at the same place - again.
With the knife of desires,
We are cut.
Piece by piece.
We thought we were all here to love.
Sufferance is all what we got in return.
It is long we have fallen in love.
Now let us
Rise.
Rise from the waters that intend to strangle us
And drench us in love.
Its all false.
There is no Fountain of Hope in the places you seek.
Pierce our souls with the prongs of sin.
And let us live.
Even it be through death.
If it doesn’t hurt, it isn’t love.

An Eccentric Night

I’m looking for tremors in that note you play.
Play that for me, will you?
The travel
From one note to the other…
What are you playing?
Slower, please.

You said you’d wear green.
Here you are
In garish blue.
What clothes! Haha.

I told you not to
Cut your hair!

Such speed!
Schubert wouldn’t like it that fast.
You must be moonstruck!

What are these! Haha.
Brown goggles!
You’re wearing a lipstick!
Extra wisps on your hair.
Ear rings!
Bah. You must be moonstruck. Haha.

And how come you aren’t saying anything!

Must this gentleman with crown grays and premature balding,
Announce over this inestimably happy occasion,
The magnum opus of his beautiful bride,
That he wishes to dine with her
After her concert finds its closure
Soon, so his eternal love
May conjure up a modest
Picture of eternity?
What now? Haha.

You are stuck to the window.
Moonstruck.
Stop biting those bars, will you?
Here, come over.
Let’s eat.

Cheers to our obscure humor.Haha.
There is much to love.
We’ll go over to the balcony
After we’ve had our food.
It’s raining.
We love the rains.

*Readers, kindly drop off comments on this. I've tried something new. Even good/bad/other single word-comments will do. Thanks!*

Saturday, July 22, 2006

the slave



You came in,
Came into my life
You came in
And made me fall

You changed my world
You gave me love
You made me believe
Made me lose myself

The world was bright
With pink days
And velvet nights
Life was too good to be real

I was too lost
Too lost to think
I wanted to believe
I was blind

The days passed
You made me doubt
You showed me your truth
And left me cold
Cold as ice

The reasons you gave me were right
But I couldn't believe you
I couldn't see the truth
I couldn't trust you

I was torn
picking up the pieces
I was drowning
In fumes and smoke

Nights were my shelter
Days were hell
The rain hid my tears
the shadows my wails

I survived
On smoke
Nectar

Now you are back
And I once again am your slave

I am falling again
You take away my nectar
Take away the smoke
Reveal me again
Lift the shadows

Who are you
You who make me lose to myself
You who bring me close
And then leave me to the cold again
And again

But I still do
Still love you
The slave that I am


A 3d Model of my home ..created in Google SketchUp !

Friday, July 21, 2006

I'm Back!

Well it's nice to be back after such along time!i had been busy all these days preparing for my PartI exams.Its still continuing ,would continue for a long time and i may not get another time to log in.So once I got a gap in between my exams I ran down to the nearby cafe,without paying any heed to my mom's warnings!I mean C'mon Yaar I had been without computer for nearly 2months!and right now my hands were really itching but now its fine,after I got the balm i.e of touching the keypads atleast!!!!!

Anyways lots of nonsense been said!But these the Pge 1 of the newspapers had been full with news on terrorist or capitalist attacks!I don't want to comment on anything else,coz our Government doesn't allow us to speak or rebel about any issues.....just want to say 1thing...all these people who are killing innocent people along with children maybe whatever ,but they cannot be human atall!No cause can be justified in the brutal cold blooded murder of innocent people!Religion doesn't ask one to kill one another,it asks one to spread the essence of brotherhood.But many people are getting provoked by some Stupid Know-alls who claim that they know everything about religion!The tragedy is that they never fight themselves,but poeple working for them die for some wrong cause...they just sit and watch the "Tamasha"!

I really do hope that Oneday all these inhuman people will get their punishments...oneday there will prevail peace everywhere...no fight for the sake of power.....money.As it's said that "with Power comes Responsibility"i do hope that these countries who claim themselves to be all powerful and the "guardian" of goodwill do understand that and act accordingly!As it's said,"There's no bad peace or good war"!
"Om Shanti,Shanti,Shanti"

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Murder of Love

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The birds are returning to their nests --

The sky is still holding back

Desparately to the last rays

Of the reluctant, setting sun.

The woods has been gripped

By the misty darkness of the creeping dusk.

A sudden shiver makes the presence felt

Of a breeze which blows silently,

Worn by the blues of the parting day.


Her hands clasped into mine,

Intently I am drinking of her eyes,

Searching for her,

Wondering where she is –

Where I shall find

The source of eternal happiness

That is hidden in her.


Like the infinite secrets of the universe

Trembling in the distant stars of the clear sky,

I can feel the existence

Of the secret of her soul

That is behind the dark depths

Of her illusory beautiful eyes.


Gazing into them,

My self is immersed, lost

Into the fathomless ocean of her being…


Where is She?

Within her lustrous eyes?

Behind her dazzling yet shy smiles?

Or in the sweet stream of her words…

Or maybe beneath the benign peace

That pervades her innocent face.

Alas, my hopes too high!

How rash the desire

To possess her soul,

To consume her totality

In the cramped corners

Of my crowded, clouded brain…

‘Tis like picking up

A beautiful flower on the roadside,

And ensuring the end of its life.


Content I should be with what I get :

A smile, a word –

A glance, a hint of love.


No one belongs to us.

Human beings are not for food

For humane hunger, earthly desires !

They are not ornaments to wear,

To show off !


They are lotuses that bloom

For the world and its Lord—

Assiduously and secretly.


Through days and night,

Through joy and sorrow

Prosperity and Adversity

Through Life and Death

And countless cycles of seasons

They Bloom…

To be enjoyed for their scent,

And beauty and sweetness,

Or even its mere existence !


But they are not to be cut

With the knife of desires,

And expectations.


We are all here to love,

And be strong in love,

But not possess our beloved,

Not to engulf her.


Let us appreciate her presence

Enjoy every bit of it,

Without making her suffer her

For the cause of our pleasure.


‘Tis long we’ve fallen in love.

Now let us

Rise.

Let the sacred rays of love

Drench us

Not in the mire of desires,

But in the fountain of hope, of humility,

Of Life.



-----------------

Acknowledgement : Rabindranath Tagore.

(this post maybe deleted in future for re-editting and other modifications)

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Too De-tailed

Too detailed a picture (quality and dimension reduced). Maybe greyscale/sepia would have been better to subdue the unneeded details. But as I don't like doing digital edits, i scrapped the idea. I shud have used a red (hot) chroma filter and put the camera to "Sepia" mode!

Person in pic "Archan RoyChowdhury" (6'3" 104kgs) -- nice person!

Saturday, July 01, 2006

The Blue of Love : by akaash

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It was raining.
The drops were continuously drumming down on the tin roof.
There were others in that small, compacted room, that was full of wooden furniture. And everybody was quiet.

It was a roadside shop, near the bus stand, that sold and made cupboards, tables, chairs and likewise wooden accessories. It rained and everybody had rushed in to get a shelter .
I had gone in as well, but why I failed to remember.
Maybe to get a shelter, ... yes, but more because others were going in, and I merely followed them, … to avoid any unwanted public attention.

I tried to be one of them, …

The air in the room was filled with a strong scent of freshly wetted wood and men worked inside, … as they chiseled and hammered quietly … and tried to fit parts into one another.
I stood at the doorstep along with the others, and watched the growing rain, … that started as a few lazy drops and went on to be a downpour.

I was wet. I somehow forgot to open the umbrella I carried.

I watched the buses through the misty drops, as they took passengers from each stop and dropped them at others. That was what they were supposed to do. To take some and to leave some and to continue.

The picture was hazy. … as I tried to remember the Cause.

I had loved her. She had loved me. … And then something happened … that I don’t exactly remember, and neither do I want to. Even, I had forgotten whether I understood what had happened. What got to me was that we could no longer remain together.
As I remember, my first reaction was disbelief.
But then I saw her crying.
As I saw those tears rolling continually down her pale cheeks, … the cheeks whose Colour, I had once promised to myself, to protect, … I felt helpless. I felt I was not a man.

I felt it was Unfair, that Destiny decided to attack from the rear, never giving me a fair chance to get armed for this battle.

I felt like going to her, and taking her in my arms, … making her head rest on my chest, making her tears wet my body, soul, … making her forget every damn fear in this world, … kissing her tender lips, … saying that it was all a farce.

But I had failed to move.
I trembled inside with an unexplainable fear, … as waters flushed out from my eyes. I tried to take a step towards her wanting to show that I had Not turned weak, and she could depend on me, … that we would be finding some way out, …that we would never part.

But the way she had accepted the ‘truth’, … it seemed, … that this would only be a false consolation, … and it was as if she knew this .
… And she taught me this, that you don’t look to fight fate, as it was impossible.

I never listened to this, I didn’t believe that fate couldn’t be changed.
I still had enough willpower, but I knew, … the Only thing that I would ever fail to fight was her Tears, that glistened with truth.

We sat in silence.
For an hour, … maybe. … I don’t exactly remember.

And then she got up.
… and came to me.

Her tears had dried up, though their creases could still be made out on her cheeks.

She looked at me and smiled.
I trembled inside, I wept inside, but something in her smile made me stand up with a belief that a miracle must have happened.

I looked at her with a blank, helpless stare. I could not speak.

She held my face in her two little hands and looked into my eyes.
I once again felt the warmth of her body.

… and then, … we forgot everything, … and Kissed .

We knew that it was the Last One we would ever have.
But it seemed like the Ultimate One.

… it seemed to be the answer to all my questions.
… and it seemed to be the Answer to All the Questions in this world.
We drank and ended each others’ infinite pain.
We reassured each other that Nothing had actually happened, …that No Universal Laws could separate us; … irrespective of what this world thought, … irrespective of what Laws Of Humanity or Conventions said, … irrespective of whether we would meet again, …
… we would remain each others’ forever.

… and then, with closed eyes, and with the essence of the other in our souls, we separated.




Tears were still rolling down from my eyes.
But the rain had stopped.
And the Sun shone brightly.

It was a new beginning.
… not for Me, but for the person inside me, … as I remembered happily that I had successfully ‘left’ Myself to her, … and that I would be Safe in her Heart,
.. forever.

I now smiled the same smile that she had once baffled me with.


and I stepped out of the furniture shop and decided to walk …